New study reveals that Millennials have no effect on B2B companies

New study reveals that Millennials have no effect on B2B companies

New study reveals that Millennials have no effect on B2B companies

US – A new study performed by Headinda Sand Research confirmed Monday that Millennials will in fact not change a thing in B2B companies.

The study looked at manufacturers, distributors, and techology companies, then the study looked at their actual buyers, purchasing departments and researchers and concluded that Millenials past buying patterns and expectations apply to every business in the world except B2B.

“Many companies have been extremely concerned that they need to update their digital platforms, improve their processes, and even look at transacting online, but the research data doesn’t collaborate this hypothesis,” head research Jeremy Miller told reporters. “Millennials will have no effect, in fact we question whether or not Millennials are real at all in B2B.  We found no examples of changing expectations in any age group in fact.”

One CEO of a Distributor stated, “I don’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so.  I never believed in internet, websites, or Millenials. I knew it was all made up.  People buy from people – we don’t need this website hogwash.”

Other distributors reportedly are “frustrated, because of a significant effort to transform their businesses by looking at how their customers interact with them, and giving buyers of all ages tools that would help them do their job.”

One especially frustrated CEO stated, “We worked incredibly hard build a business that was customer-centric – we never saw this coming.  I mean, I looked at our staff about 6 months ago and realized OUR STAFF was 50% Millennials – so if they were millennials, my customers must also be.  We transformed our entire business – we created engaging digital properties that help our customers do their job better, created transactional experiences, and aligned our internal systems to be integrated, flexible, and extremely responsive.  We even built an app for crying out loud.  To find out this whole thing was a hoax is so disappointing.  WE EVEN DID JOURNEY MAPPING!!!”

 

6 Comments
  • Justin King
    Posted at 12:19h, 01 September Reply

    A bit of eCommerceandB2B satire for you to start the Labor Day weekend. Enjoy!

    • Joanne Moss
      Posted at 10:04h, 03 September Reply

      I kept thinking I was reading The Onion.

      • Justin King
        Posted at 10:10h, 03 September Reply

        Fantastic!! Have to have a sense of humor in business, too 🙂

  • Karie Daudt
    Posted at 11:00h, 07 September Reply

    What are these Millennials you speak of? Do I need to be concerned about them, or is it safe to just ignore them and believe they will go away? Great article Justin. It is so interesting that manufacturers and distributers can believe that everything can stay the same. I wish I could get paid for every time I heard “but this is the way we have always done it”. The times are a changing. Thanks for the humor.

    • Justin King
      Posted at 11:10h, 07 September Reply

      Your welcome!! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂

  • Mascha Tamarinof
    Posted at 01:36h, 11 September Reply

    Granted, you had me puzzeled for a moment… 😀

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